A break from theology tonight, with these poems I wrote today.
Silence [Lucas John Mix 3/16/12)
I cannot say.
It gnaws at me,
this worm inside;
curled around my brainstem
like Yggdrasil.
I cannot say if it holds me up
fighting off dread entropy
or slowly wears me down
like a pack of vines harrying a sycamore
The rough, weary scars
of wearing a brace since birth
and the ache of a fungus
slowly, ever so slowly
eating away at my bones.
Who would I be without this
slow disintegration
of action into reaction?
Who would I be unshaped by
need for something that cannot be –
hunger for a lost, unseen reality?
I cannot say.
Conceit [Lucas John Mix 3/16/12]
I cannot be subtle
she said with a twinkle in her eye.
I cannot be coy or brutal
in my silences
sparing and tenacious in my words.
I cannot refrain
from speaking my mind.
What a cruel joke
that so much of our communication
requires…
What insanity that speaking my truth
…
We are the spaces in between the words:
notes and rests that hint
vaguely
of the voiceless page they’re inked on.
No melody, no rhythm, no time –
only a gracious space, unfilled
I cannot not say
and so I say
something else.
Fragility [Lucas John Mix 3/16/12]
Fragility – the movement of my heart
within my breast
so uncomplicated, that rhythm
that sets the tempo of my life
Sad sometimes, that it cannot break
into syncopation
without ceasing to be.
